100 things....

Okay, so my friend Margie recently posted a list of 100 things about herself...she was copying someone else and I'm copying her....so here we go:
100) I was named after Olivia Newton John’s character in the 1980 movie Xanadu. She was one of the 9 muses of Zeus that came down to help some guy open a roller-rink.
99) I used to love going to the roller rink and even had my 11th birthday party there.
98) My sister, Tearese, is named after a warrior princess while my brothers; Dain, Thain, and Thorin, are all from the Lord of the Rings.
97) My dad used to read to us from the Lord of the Rings as a bed time story.
96) I used to think we were descended from hobbits since my dad had hairy feet and liked mushrooms.
95) When I was in 6th grade, for five minutes I decided to change my name to Star (like from Lost Boys) since no one knew me (I presumed) and I could re-invent myself at this new school…then before the teacher got to me I realized that he would probably tell my parents so I quickly changed it back to Kiera.
94) I always want to re-invent myself.
93) I really like my hair color and texture, but I often convince myself it would look better short, or straight, or black….after changing it I inevitably cry for an hour.
92) I hate carbonation…I always accidentally breathe in the CO2 and choke….then the bubbles burn my throat and I can’t understand how anyone could find that refreshing.
91) I love water. People think I’m copping out when they ask if I’d like something to drink and I request water….but I really do prefer it to other drinks when I’m thirsty or hot.
90) I hate flavored or carbonated water…
89) I think it’s ridiculous that water often costs more then soda….and that vegetables and such cost more then candy or potato chips.
88) I think my sister may have given me an inferiority complex growing up…she was always smarter, more accomplished, and cooler then me.
87) In later years, she would get mad at me because, she thought all of her male friends liked me better than her.
86) Despite all this, my first date wasn’t until I was in college and 18.
85) I dated one boy three times over a ninth month period when I was 19 and this was the closest I had to a boyfriend until I met my future husband.
84) I’m Mormon and went to college in Utah…however for the entire three years, and 11 roommates of my schooling, there were only one or two girls that were members and went to church with me. I thought that was ironic.
83) I gained 30 lbs in college, and have spent hundreds of dollars on infomercial weight loss gimmicks. When I finally lost the weight it was because I went to the gym 3-4 times a week.
82) I used to want to join the circus and be a trapeze artist or ride the elephants….unfortunately, since I’m allergic to animals and hay, this dream was cut short by reality.
81) I used to want to backpack across Europe, but could never figure out the logistics of keeping supplied in medicine while being a nomad…so I gave it up.
80) I love elephants and monkeys…one of my favorite things to do is go to the zoo….I get so excited I’m like a little kid and the other adults look at me weird….at least after I have a baby I can pretend I’m acting that way for her benefit.
79) I sometimes wonder if getting pregnant was a big mistake….and get depressed when I realize it’s too late to do anything about it now.
78) I worry that I’ll be a bad mother and that my daughter will find out all the of the bad things I've done and not respect me
77) I read other peoples journals
76) I feel guilty that my health is such a financial burden on my husband, but still don’t want to get a job.
75) I worry that people think I only talk to them when it’s convenient or I want something…I’ve been called a leach, a “sometimes friend,” and other such names…the sad part is that it’s true.
74) I would put school assignments or work-related responsibilities over friendship most days…I can hold your hand and pat you on the back anytime, but this is due now!
73) I like it when people give me stuff, but hate it when I’m expected to give stuff to others.
72) I’m never quite sure how to interact with other people and consequently come off cold and uncaring
71) When I was in elementary school, the other kids would make fun of me for my parents dropping me off in our old VW van…they called it the Segler bus.
70) They also made fun of me because my mom worked and dad didn’t….they seemed to know when he got lost his job only a few days after we did….seeing as how we’re anti-social, I still don’t understand this.
69) My sister used to call me a fashion victim because I wanted to dress like the people on t.v.
68) I really like sharp cheddar cheese
67) Halloween used to be my favorite holiday ‘cuz you could dress up…now it’s Christmas.
66) When I was younger my favorite color was pink, my sister’s was blue. Ironically her birthstone was rose quartz and mine was aquamarine.
65) Older men have always seemed to like me and it makes me uncomfortable as I suspect they were all secretly perverts….
64) When I was in sixth grade, my best friend Eden told me I had big hips….I thought she was complimenting me on my womanly curves and said thank you. She looked at me like I was crazy and said it wasn’t a compliment. Ever since then I’ve been self-conscious about that portion of my body.
63) I’ve always been bigger than other girls…by myself I looked okay, but next to the stick thin pre-adolescent-looking girls at my high school I looked fat. Consequently I’ve never thought of myself as something to be desired…so it was a shock when I got to college and guys seemed to want me for my body (whole different story I’m not going into).
62) After two years of marriage, with a husband that constantly tells me how sexy I am, I am just now getting over this.
61) I still have no idea how I managed to score such a drop dead gorgeous, generous, kind, tough, scary, totally ripped stud for a husband. I worry that someday he’ll realize this as well and think twice about choosing me.
60) I think I’m only getting my master’s degree so people will think I’m smart.
59) I’ve lived in Texas for three years and three months and think I’ve developed a slight accent….the term “y’all” has become a permanent fixture in my vocabulary.
58) I love scented candles
57) I’ve spent an average of $30/month at amazon.com for the last three years.
56) I have over $8000 in debt on my credit cards alone.
55) I love having my picture taken…but can’t seem to communicate this to photographers….they always assume it’s a big hassle for me to get my picture taken and thus use a minimum of fuss and time…I’d rather be the center of attention for hours on end.
54) I sometimes wish I wasn’t Mormon and knew nothing about the church so I could experience everything in life and not be held responsible since I wouldn’t know any better.
53) I worry my kids will feel the same way and wonder if I can keep them on track
52) My worst fear is that my husband will die and I’ll have to raise our kids alone.
51) I also fear I’ll have an asthma attack during labor and slip into a coma and die.
50) I hate being just like everyone else and feel like being pregnant has caused me to slip into the crowd at church, but hate how it makes people stare at school.
49) My favorite color is green
48) When I was in first grade, my friend Cassidy had a boyfriend….she was a habitual liar and would tell me that she’d hook me up with this boy or that….I always fell for it and would dress up nice for school the day her “friend” was supposed to show up.
47) I’ve always fantasized about coming to school/work/wherever in the morning dressed how I always do and then changing at lunch/break and being so transformed into a beautiful princess that people wouldn’t recognize me….I call it the Cinderella complex.
46) In second grade, my friend Katie Slazinksi would get chased around the playground by 5-6 boys every recess. When they caught her they’d kiss her….I always wished it was me they were chasing.
45) I turn bright red when I’m embarrassed…which happens far too often.
44) I pick my scabs…I know it’s disgusting and I disgust myself by doing it, but can’t seem to stop.
43) My husband loves me anyway
42) I have a poor sense of balance and often stumble or almost fall for no reason…because of this I can’t wear heels without severely injuring myself.
41) When I was little, my sister, her friend and I would shoplift penny candies from the drug store by stuffing them down our underwear and running out. It didn’t occur to me until later how unsanitary that was.
40) In third grade my friend Brandy and I shoplifted friendship bracelets, candy, and small toys without getting caught…we’d also cuss like sailors, steal from the salad bar at Pizzahut and purposely clog their toilets with paper towels so that they’d overflow…
39) I sometimes wish I were still single so that I wouldn’t be onto the married with children phase of my life already.
38) I taught myself to play the piano when I was 11
37) I dream of becoming a rock star, but don’t think it would be a good environment to raise my kids in…I also can’t write music
36) When I was in first grade I got some hot pink, mid-calf boots with black faux fur trim…I thought they were the coolest thing ever. My sister made fun of me
35) When I was in 6th grade I ripped the neck and sleeves out of an oversized shirt, trimmed it to show my belly and wore it hanging over one shoulder with a tank top underneath for gym class. I thought it was really cool…after the first day everyone looked at me weird and my friends asked me why I was wearing it. I never wore it again.
34) When I was in 2nd grade, I had a short, pink peasant blouse looking shirt with an elastic neck line and sleeves. I used to pull the sleeves down so my shoulders would show and hike it up like a halter top to look sexy. It made my mom mad and she stopped letting me wear it.
33) I’ve worn a bigger bra size than my older sister since I was 12
32) I want to dye my hair blue, but worry that I would ruin it with the bleach required to make the color stay
31) When I was younger I read a lot of fantasy books. My friend Gwen told me they were satanic.
30) This same friend asked me if I was a lesbian in 7th grade….
29) I hate gold jewelry…I think it looks tacky
28) Whenever I wear makeup, I feel like a little girl that snuck into her moms make up case and worry everyone is secretly laughing at me
27) I’ve been hospitalized three times for my asthma…twice I was in ICU for several days…because of this I’m virtually uninsurable.
26) I was the first of the cousins on my moms side to get married, but will be the third to have a baby
25) I want to live in Oregon someday…maybe in Astoria, the town where Goonies and Kindergarten cop were filmed….I’ve yet to convince my husband that there is any good reason to move west.
24) I’ve always wanted to live in a different country, but worry about my medicine and getting a job and interacting with strange people, so probably never will.
23) My first real concert was last month when I went to see U2…it wasn’t as great as I’d hoped and I worry that I’ve waited too long for famous people in concert to make a real impression on me.
22) I grew up in “the Festival City” where every summer the Shakespearean festival would put on plays. I always wanted to wear a costume and be in them. I love plays and Shakespeare and pity people who never have these kind of experiences growing up.
21) I like cheesecake…I used to hate it, but now it’s one of my favorite desserts.
20) I used to hate pizza. The only pizza I enjoyed growing up was my mom’s homemade hamburger pizza with pineapple. In college I discovered the “starving student special” where you’d get a small pizza, six homemade’ish breadsticks, and two sodas for only $7.20. I’ve liked pizza ever since.
19) I love crunching leaves and breaking the film of ice that forms over ditches in the winter.
18) I miss winter
17) I’ve always wanted to be one of those cool tough chicks that works on cars or something and isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty…
16) I hate getting my hands wet… my skin dries out and I need lotion and it isn’t always available, so it’s just easier to skip that whole process.
15) I’m a firm believer in the five second rule…unless someone is watching
14) I drink out of the milk jug and always have
13) I frequently get home sick, but when I go home to visit I’m ready to leave after a couple of hours.
12) I can’t stand to wear fingernail polish…I always think it looks funny on me
11) I hate my freckles…sometimes babies and little kids stare at my skin like they can’t figure out what’s wrong with it….they’ll look and look, and sometimes reach out to touch it as if to check if there’s something on it.
10) I tend to romanticize things… for example: I really love nature, and mountains and the great outdoors and such, but when we go up the mountain I’m bored after ten minutes.
9) I like both country music and rock…and jazz, and blues, and classical, and celtic…many people can’t understand that.
8) I knew Patrick was something special when he could
7) I took out student loans during my undergraduate years to pay off my credit cards…now I have those loans and my credit cards to pay off
6) My mom always says how poor she is, but she makes more then I do and pays less in rent, car insurance, insurance, medical bills, and stuff then me….I wonder where her money goes.
5) When I was nine my parents separated for several months because of money issues…I sometimes think my mom would be better off if they’d never got back together
4) Mom says you’ll put up with a lot more crap if you love him…I didn’t believe her until I got married
3) I dislike church activities and “molly mormons” but feel guilty because of it
2) I sometimes think home-schooling, no cable, no movies, no internet, no video games and lots of hard physical labor are the best way to go with kids….but can’t see myself living without my entertainment or teaching my kids alone.
1) None of my friends or family would enjoy the type of books I read

Annoyance....being a jerk again

Okay, this is a kind of random post, but Margie has been bugging me to update for the past month or so... Patrick's sister Christine is getting married in two weeks. We are driving up to Salt Lake, via Cedar City so that we can stop off and visit my parents. We haven't been to their house since we were married over two years ago. In contrast we have seen Patricks parents/siblings (not counting the ones that live in Texas) a total of 8 times during that period. SO....I im'd Christine last week to ask, in passing, what her colors were so that I could dress appropriately. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal and that she probably wouldn't care if we matched the decor, but I thought I'd ask just in case. It turns out her fiance's family is really big on everyone matching for the wedding. So she is having bridesmaids, groomsmen, mother outfits, etc...all of the men need to wear dark suits and dark (?) blue shirts and she will provide matching orange ties...all of the girls need to wear medium to dark blue dresses. (Now she's known this for weeks and is just now telling me since I happened to ask in passing...apparently everyone else knew and didn't bother to tell us) I am 7.5 months pregnant....my pregnant wardrobe is very limited...even if it weren't...I don't own anything dressy in navy blue, but less dressy, navy blue, and fit for an 8 month pregnant person. So I was upset that I now had to go out and buy a big pregnant dress so I could match her stupid decor for a picture....a picture in which I'd be big, fat, and pregnant anyway and which I didn't think I'd look that good in were I able to choose my own clothes. So I go out and buy a pregnant blue dress/skirt thing...it's not very dressy...it's made of stretchy cotton, but I'm not spending money on a satin, fancy thing I'll only be able to wear another two months.
So the plan is that we're driving to my parents, spending the night...driving 5 hours up to Salt Lake to make it for a 12:30 wedding and then driving back down to Cedar that night to spend at my parents. Then I hear that Merry (Patrick's mom) wants everyone there by 11:15 for a big family photo. Not only that, but she wants it to be a "Fancy photo that will appeal to a rich clientele..." so I'm beginning to think my stretchy cotton number isn't going to cut it next to the satin bridesmaid dresses....then she asks if Patrick would shave and cut his hair so that he would look nice for her picture. I'm thinking....this is what he looks like... why do you want a fake picture....then it hits me that we will have to leave by 5am that morning to get up there to pose for a stupid picture. I really don't think we'll be looking our best after only a few hours sleep following a twenty hour drive plus five to SLC...on top of that I'm thinking....everyone is going to be here in Texas for Christmas...why can't we do it then and save everyone the hassle (momentarily ignoring the fact that I will then be NINE months pregnant in this family photo). So then Patrick calls his mom to see what's going on, because it also occurred to me that maybe we weren't supposed to wear our wedding attire for this fancy family shot....he explains the 5 hour drive thing and she again (has happened before) suggests that we just drive up to SLC friday and get a hotel room. Ignoring the fact that this would then be a 25 hour drive, she completely disregards that I want to spend time with MY family(not to mention that we're dirt poor)....we've seen them 8 times since we got married and only visited my parents once. So Patrick explains this once more that we really want to visit my family and that it's really important to me. So then I find out that I'm not even going to be in the picture! It's just siblings...spouses and children will be in the not so formal, Patrick doesn't have to shave and can look like a slob pic at Christmas....the reason is that Merry doesn't want to pay for two photographers and is already shelling out for Christine's wedding person. So now I'm offended first of all that they would just assume that we could drive up to SLC at 5am (never asked just said be there) when we've told them repeatedly about visiting my family....and then I'm mad 'cuz they don't even want me in the picture. I mean I understand that I'm not "really" family, but still, my mom would want spouses in a family shot, so why doesn't she? Then I'm mad that we have to get up, drive all that way, I had to buy a dress with money we don't have, just to sit around and not even get my picture taken. So I guess I'm not really "mad" more annoyed in general...it could be the hormones. *shrug* Oh and this is coming right after a mass email trying to coordinate Christmas eve/day activities with everyone (Patricks entire family, my family and patrick's sister's husband's family)....I've spent the last two Christmas, Thanksgiving, three Independence days, memorial days, and Easters with these people and I want to hang out with "MY" family now...so I told them as much and I think I may have hurt some feelings...oh well.