Secrets...

Me, I'm a big fan of secrets...as long as I'm the one that knows about them. If one of my friends or acquaintances did something they shouldn't have or are embarassed about, I think it's great if they tell me about it. I think I'm a good secret keeper in most cases because: 1) I don't really talk to that many people and the ones that I do interact with, I don't tell stuff about myself, much less my friends. 2) Most of the time the people that tell me the secret tell everyone else within a few days and there's not much pressure on me. 3) If I do need to tell someone I can tell my sister. She lives over 2000 miles away in Seattle, WA. Who here is going to care if she knows? There are also a few reasons why I'm a bad person to tell a secret to...1) I generally do end up telling someone. Whether it's my sister (see above) or my husband (I firmly believe spouses shouldnt/don't count). 2) If the secret is just too exciting and you catch me minutes after I've been confided in I may start dropping clues and hope that you guess for yourself. For example: I have a secret. One I don't really want to spread too much just yet. However, even having told my family and my husband I still feel the need to tell a few more of my close friends. The problem with telling people secrets though is that you're never quite sure who they are going to tell (I firmly believe that everyone has their own list of exception people). So I could tell my friends that the reason I haven't been feeling too well for the past month or so is because a certain someone told me she wanted to be an aunty in the near future and I couldn't let her down...and if she wanted to know when this change in her stature from friend to aunty were to take place I'd have to say sometime around January 13th. But then you never can tell who they'll tell. So I guess I'll just keep my secrets to myself and trust those of you clever enough to have seen through this ruse to keep it to yourself as well. Because as we all know, a secret isn't any good if it's public knowledge...so: shhhh!

Summertime Blues

Remember when you were a kid and you were so excited for school to be out? You'd think it was so great that you didn't have to do anything and you could sleep in and play all day without any consequences...then, in my case at least, by the end of the summer you're so freaking bored you can't wait to go back to school so that your life will at least have some sort of purpose again. Well, it seems you don't really grow out of this. I was so excited for school to be done so I could have some time to sit back and relax before starting my summer classes. I had ordered four new books to read and was really excited to have nothing to do. Well, May rolled around and my books came (and they were totally worth it, but over much too quickly), but I started feeling sick and spent alot of my time lying on the couch reading or watching t.v.. Now I've actually started my summer readings for school and I'm working out the last details to begin my practicum and I just have to wonder why I'm doing any of it. I mean, I know I'm trying to graduate and I don't plan to do this forever, but I just need to push through these last few courses so I'll be done, but I really don't care about any of it. The prospect of reading a bunch of anthropology crap and writing some papers is not enough to motivate me to get out of bed before noon. Then even when I do get up, I still spend the day on the couch reading this stuff with intermittent breaks for snacks and paper writing. This is totally making me feel like crap, but I'm not motivated to go out and do anything else. I feel like I'm turning into a fat slob, though this is the lowest weight I've maintained consistently in awhile. I'm working with a partner on my practicum and I feel like she's the one doing all the work. She's all ambitious and wants to do a good job and I just want to take the easiest way out. So when she changes stuff and wants to know what I think, I just nod my head and say 'whatever.' I guess I just feel so disconnected with everything right now...maybe it's from sleeping too much, maybe it's from not exercising enough, or maybe it's from spending all of my time studying this stupid stuff I'm not interested in. I think it may also be from not having a job and thus feeling very out of touch with my financial situation...I wonder if I could handle a job on top of the school stuff I'm doing...