Summertime Blues

Remember when you were a kid and you were so excited for school to be out? You'd think it was so great that you didn't have to do anything and you could sleep in and play all day without any consequences...then, in my case at least, by the end of the summer you're so freaking bored you can't wait to go back to school so that your life will at least have some sort of purpose again. Well, it seems you don't really grow out of this. I was so excited for school to be done so I could have some time to sit back and relax before starting my summer classes. I had ordered four new books to read and was really excited to have nothing to do. Well, May rolled around and my books came (and they were totally worth it, but over much too quickly), but I started feeling sick and spent alot of my time lying on the couch reading or watching t.v.. Now I've actually started my summer readings for school and I'm working out the last details to begin my practicum and I just have to wonder why I'm doing any of it. I mean, I know I'm trying to graduate and I don't plan to do this forever, but I just need to push through these last few courses so I'll be done, but I really don't care about any of it. The prospect of reading a bunch of anthropology crap and writing some papers is not enough to motivate me to get out of bed before noon. Then even when I do get up, I still spend the day on the couch reading this stuff with intermittent breaks for snacks and paper writing. This is totally making me feel like crap, but I'm not motivated to go out and do anything else. I feel like I'm turning into a fat slob, though this is the lowest weight I've maintained consistently in awhile. I'm working with a partner on my practicum and I feel like she's the one doing all the work. She's all ambitious and wants to do a good job and I just want to take the easiest way out. So when she changes stuff and wants to know what I think, I just nod my head and say 'whatever.' I guess I just feel so disconnected with everything right now...maybe it's from sleeping too much, maybe it's from not exercising enough, or maybe it's from spending all of my time studying this stupid stuff I'm not interested in. I think it may also be from not having a job and thus feeling very out of touch with my financial situation...I wonder if I could handle a job on top of the school stuff I'm doing...