Isabelle Rose

Aren't they cute? Labor and delivery was way easier than I thought it would be. With the epidural I didn't feel a thing...even when I was pushing. It was a little disconcerting to hear the woman in the next room screaming a few minutes later as the doctor was sewing me up and made me even more grateful that God invented drugs. If you look at this objectively, I was technically in labor for three days. I don't think I could have managed to push the baby out after that much pain, which is why the last twelve hours were spent in a hospital bed on drugs. Anyway, so we're both home now and fine....Isabelle is four days old and I've managed to fit back into my size 16 pants today (I couldn't Sunday) with room to spare...at this rate I'll be back in my tens by next week. I've already lost all but three pounds of baby weight and now that my milk has come in I think I look totally disproportioned and a little like Pamela Anderson. This is not as exciting as you would think since I look totally wonky to me and not at all like myself....and they are rock hard and painful, which kind of takes away from the novelty of big boobs. Okay, well I can't think of anything else so I'll leave you with another picture.

Adventures in Childbirth...or not

Monday night I decided that Patrick and I should go to a movie. The past few times we've done this I've started having contractions that have lasted for hours at a time. So we packed up the car and took off to see the late showing of Narnia at the new Denton Movie Tavern (see movies, and eat at the same time what a concept!). All was going well when, sure enough, I felt my first contractions. I had at least three contractions during the movie but, to my dismay they stopped. However I was encouraged by the fact that I woke up three times that night with my back hurting knowing that could be a sign of labor. Throughout Tuesday morning and afternoon my back continued to ache with varying intensity. This along with some not so story-worthy developments in the bathroom led me to believe that yes, I just might possibly be in labor. That night around ten I began to have contractions. Nothing too serious, one every 15 minutes or so....then every ten...by the time I went to bed at two am I was having very painful contractions every 7 minutes on the dot. Patrick and I went to bed convinced that the next day would see us in the hospital with a new baby.

Sleeping through these contractions proved to be a pursuit in futility, so the most sleep I got was during the four and six o'clock hours of the night when I managed to dose lightly between contractions, start dreaming only to be awakened by wrenching, muscle pulling, agony in my back. Seven am roles around and the contractions are now only five minutes apart and lasting approximately 50-60 seconds in length. We decide to go to the hospital. There are no problems checking in, as I had worried from my sister's experience. They showed us to a room straight away even before taking down my name and asking who my doctor was. Once this was accomplished and I was in a gown I was subjected to one of the most painful vaginal exams it has ever been my displeasure to experience. Apparently my cervix is naturally back pretty far...so far that the doctor has had to apply some serious pressure in order to reach it in the past. The nurse attending me was short and chubby with fingers to match. Her thicker than usual appendages along with their short length and what I swear was a pointy fingernail (as well as fighting contractions every few minutes) made this very unpleasant. Once she was done she asked me if I had been dilated at all during my previous visit. I reported that the doctor said it was at a fingertip and the nurse then told me I had widened to 2 centimeters. So I was making progress, but nothing near what I thought I must surely be after that sleepless night. She then hooked me up to a fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff and said that they would chart my progress for the next hour or so and see what was happening. She then left me strapped to this machine on a very uncomfortable bed.

My nights forays had already proven to me how painful contractions were if forced to lie in a bed and I was very disappointed that I wouldn't be able to walk. I consoled myself with the idea that they were just setting up my rhythm or whatever and would probably let me loose later. So I lay there suffering, when the mid-wife from my clinic came in (differnent one than I have mentioned previously). She informed me that Dr. Reaves (my OB) was off today and she would be the one attending me should I deliver. I was fine with this and after reporting that I seemed to be doing well, but that my contractions were still pretty far apart, she wanted me to drink some ice water and walk around uninhibited for the next thirty minutes to see if that would help speed things along. I was uplugged (still with the itchy and now sliding belts around my waist), given a thing of water and left to my own devices. I walked around and around the enormous room in nothing but two hospital gowns and my husbands coat (it was freezing in there) peeing frequently until they returned. To my dismay I noticed the contractions coming less regularly and not lasting as long and braced myself to be sent home.
Once I was hooked back up I was again left for twenty minutes of monitoring. Sadly the machine seemed to be noting the decrease in frequency and intensity as well, but I was still subjected to yet another exam by short fingers who declared that, while I did appear to be in early labor; my contractions coming at regular 5-6 minute intervals (quoting from a sheet she later gave me) and lasting 50-60 seconds, and even though she could see that they were painful, they weren't accomplishing anything and she and the midwife felt I would be more comfortable spending the day at home. However they were concerned that I didn't get any sleep the night before and gave me to Ambien pills that would "cut out the annoying contractions that weren't accomplishing anything, but let the more painful ones that actually were doing their job to stay(annoying? as opposed to the painful ones? they were ALL painful!) so that I could get some rest without halting my progress completely." She thought that after laboring/sleeping all day I'd probably be back in this evening around dark. She told me to only come in when the contractions were three minutes apart and so painful that I had to stop walking, lean on something and pant during them. I responded with; "yeah, 'cuz I haven't been doing that already." Anyway, so I took the pills she offered and listened as she explained the discharge procedure and gave me a paper indicating signs of "active labor" (which aside from the dilating part were EXACTLY the signs I was experiencing). So I got dressed and Patrick and I left the room.
Down the hall at the business managers office, we had to wait for her to finish with another lady so we could sign out. As we leaned against the wall I had another contractions and suddenly lights were flashing and doors all along the hallway were closing. The hospital was experiencing a lock down drill in which apparently each nurse at the station is responsible for observing specific exits while another checks patients or something. Seeing we were going to be there a few more minutes, Patrick suggested we sit in the waiting area. Just then the drugs kicked in.
I turned to acknowledge this idea only to have the whole room turn with me, somehow my equilibrium was completely screwed up and I could no longer stand up straight, nor walk in a straight line on my own. Patrick helped me to a chair and I found I could not hold myself up. I asked him to sit next to me and collapased on his shoulder. I had been holding the papers we needed signed and apparently dropped them when I became distracted by the pink and golden stuffed monkeys that appeared to be dancing around the room (seriously). Some time later (?) Patrick helped me up and was taking me to the elevator to leave (he had gotten the signature). I was having extreme trouble putting one foot in front of the other and wondered if this was what it was like to be drunk. The nurses at the station asked if I would like a wheelchair and I responded with "no, I can do it!' to which Patrick was forced to go along with. He held me upright in the elevator and assured me that the children getting on as we left did not have flaming pinwheels in their hands. I rested against a counter feet from the door as another contraction took me. Only this time, instead of grimly staring at my watch waiting for it to pass and mentally judging how long I had until the next one I was more like; "la, la, la.. ow! ow! ow! why am I hurting?! ow!...la, la" The nurse at the check-in counter asked if I would like a wheel chair and I again assured her that "no! I can do it!" Patrick helped me slowly cross the parking lot where I had way too much trouble navigating curbs and settled me in the passenger seat. I had the fleating thought that the seat was more comfortable then the hospital bed before I was day dreaming again....I don't know about what....I surfaced 2-3 times on the trip home to look at the harsh colors and sharp buildings passing by my window in bemusement. I wondered where we were and what we were doing. At home Patrick tried to get me up to bed, but I insisted that I wanted to eat first. I slowly navigated my way through some cereal (who knew spooning up food and getting it in your mouth could be so hard?) before Patrick half supported, half carried me up the stairs, which seemed much longer than they actually were. In the bedroom I lay down sideways on the bed and seemed to think Patricks idea of righting myself so that I rested on the pillows was stupid as this was obviously the most comfortable position to be in. He asked if he could get me anything just as I realized I was going to throw up....he hurriedly grabbed a bucket and got it to me just in time to catch my just finished breakfast. I then lay down and knew nothing until sometime later when I woke up to use the bathroom.
When I woke up it seemed I was tied inside a large hoop by many small threads that someone was pulling on intermittently. Me and various parts of my body (who all had separate personalities) were very cunning in our escape and made it to the bathroom undetected. After relieving myself (with a near-fall as I overbalanced trying to lower myself to the seat) I reassured the scabs on my leg that we could sneak them out as well...I then made my way back downstairs where I opened all the blinds and attempted to research Ambien on the internet. This didn't turn out so well and I went back to bed. Later when I woke up for real Patrick informed me that he had found that hallucinating was one of the possible side effects of this drug and that I should discontinue use should this occurr.

Since then I've had a few sporadic contractions, nothing near as painful as the ones I had all night and this morning and have all but resigned myself to checking in tomorrow night to be induced. As I was leaving and the nurse was telling me that I'd probably be back tonight she said it looked like it would be a long labor. :( One other thing. After the pain of these "mild" contractions of ealy labor I have decided to screw this "natural" childbirth crap and get drugs. It was taking over a minute after contractions had stopped to get my back to stop spasming and I could only imagine that absolute hell it must be to only have a thirty second respite between 90 second contractions and then be expected to keep your head enough to push during that....so epidural here I come!

Waiting

So I was due to have this baby two days ago now. This is a little disconcerting since I had up to this point convinced myself that not only would I have the baby on time, but it would probably come a week or two early. This dream was slowly shattered as week after week the doctor informed me that I was not dilated or effaced and any contractions I've bothered to keep track of have stopped after an hour or two.
So Thursday (my due date) when I go in they hook me up to a fetal monitor for what was supposed to be 5-7 minutes but due to technical difficulties turned into thirty. This monitored the baby's heartbeat and I was supposed to click a button to indicate everytime the baby moved. By the end of the thirty minutes the baby had moved more than 35 times and I was beginning to literally see sparkles on the edge of my vision (from lying on my back too long??). So the doctor comes in and says that the baby looks healthy and I shouldn't worry. She checks me and after some pressure and probing on her part informs me that she can "get a finger in" this week where she hasn't been able to before...which is good (and not very comfortable I might add).
So now the doctor gives me this spiel about how she really doesn't want to let me go past 41 weeks as the chances of stillbirth greatly increase after that point. After consulting with the internet and other people who've had babies they all say it's 42 weeks, but when I saw the midwife a few weeks ago she indicated that with my rash, it may be a good idea to get induced early (at that point I was only 38 wks), so maybe this is why the doctor said this. Anyway... so up to a few weeks ago I've been totally gung ho about getting an epidural and such. Recently I have changed my mind and decided that I would rather try and have the baby on my own. I heard from various sources that recovery time decreases dramatically without drugs and after figuring that our bodies were designed to do this and it's only in the past century that women have had the option of drugs I thought this sounded good and I could probably handle it. So, now that I've convinced myself that I can do this without drugs, the doctor makes an appointment to induce me.
Next Thursday (19th) night I'm supposed to check in to labor and delivery where they will hook me up to an I.V. with pitocin or some such so that by Friday, when my doctor is on-call, I will hopefully be into active labor. I've heard from numerous sources that being induced hurts much, much more than having the baby on your own and that it really isn't worth it to skip the epidural. I've also heard that sometimes the pitocin doesn't work and you end up having to have a c-section. This really sucks. So if I don't have the baby by Thursday night I'm going to be induced, get an epidural, and probably end up having a c-section which will quadrupal my recovery time and make me a sick invalid unable to do anything for the next three to six weeks. That totally sucks.
I thought maybe I'd go into labor last night when I started to have actual "painful" contractions, but no. As soon as I paid them any attention they stopped...as has been the case up to this point. (Stupid uterus) So I'm hoping that tonight the full moon will work in my favor and I'll have the baby. If not then by next week the situation will become desperate and I may start trying all sorts of crazy things to make myself go into labor before the Thursday night deadline. So I guess we'll all wait and see how this plays out. I'll keep you informed (probably not via this blog) of course. If you have any labor-inducing suggestions that aren't too crazy let me know. :)

It's okay to steal from thieves...

Okay, so my friend Margie readily admitted to stealing this idea from someone else's blog and I'm stealing it from her...so that makes it okay right? ;)

[A is for Age]
24 years, 10 months and 2 days. On my birthday my insurance premium will go up significantly...that's a load of crap if I ever heard one.

[B is for booze of choice]
Well, since I don't drink, I'm not sure how to answer this...let me just say that I really, really like water. :D (see 100 things post for further details)

[C is for career]
Up until December I was able to say student, but now that I've graduated I don't have much to add to this category. I don't suppose lazy is a career? I'm definitely not going to say housewife, so just forget it.

[D is for your dog's name]
I'm very, very allergic to dogs. Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't want one of those big slobbery, noisy messy things in my house. It just doesn't seem sanitary to me to have something like that living with you in the same enclosed space...sorry pet lovers.

[E is for essential items you use everday]
Umm...I'd like to say soap, but I would probably be lying...yes I'm dirty, get over it. Uh...bed, pillow, t.v., water...clothes, watch..toilet paper. ;)

[F is for favorite song(s) at the moment]
I really like the Hallelujah song by Rufus Wainwright on the soundtrack to Shrek...and I'm ashamed to admit that I keep singing the Dirty Vegas song J.D. Fortune wrote on Rock Star: INXS and that is now on the radio as a 'new single from INXS'...

[G is for favorite games]
Hmm...I liked that Scene It game we played on New Years Eve...and that one where everyone writes down the answer to some question and then the person who's 'it' has to guess who said what...I can't remember what it was called though...

[H is for hometown]
Cedar City, UT home of the Cedar Redman...and no we are NOT politically correct, get over it.

[I is for instruments you play]
Piano, clarinet, guitar, recorder....sometimes I claim to play the saxophone, flute and violin, but when I say that I'm lying...what I mean is that once I learned how to play a B-flat scale on each of those and have since counted it as being able to play.

[J is for jam or jelly you like]
Raspberry jam...or strawberry as long as it doesn't have big chunks of berry in it....I had a bad experience with a big chunk of berry that I nearly choked on...so maybe I'll just stick with the raspberry. ;)

[K is for kids?]
Not yet, although I suppose some would count the squirming mound of genetic engineering my husband and I have collaborated on in my stomach as a kid although it's not supposed to come out for another couple of days.

[L is for last kiss?]
Uh...I think my husband kissed me when I visited him at his shop an hour ago...does that count?

[M is for most admired trait]
My most admired trait? or a trait I most admire in someone else? Mine would be...uh...my ability to BS schoolwork and still get A's?

[N is for name of your crush?]
Patrick? Do husbands count as crushes or are they by definition linked to people that aren't real possibilities? I don't know...either way I'll say Patrick. :D

[O is for overnight hospital stays]
When I was hospitalized for asthma in 5th grade I stayed a week....then in 9th grade I stayed for three days for asthma again...I'll probably stay overnight when I have the baby, but that hasn't happened yet.

[P is for phobias]
Evil dead children...seriously...I hate all of the new movies they've come out with lately featuring scary dead kids. *shudders*

[Q is for quotes you like]
"A little nonsense now and then is gaurded by the wisest men" and other ones that are funny that I can't think of right now....

[R is for your biggest regret]
Rushing through school to get a degree without making sure I actually wanted to major in what I did...

[S is for sweets of your choice]
Cheesecake, ice cream, Patrick, apple crisp, smoothies...

[T is for time you wake up]
If I have to go somewhere, then approximately thirty minutes before then, otherwise it's been between 12-1pm lately.

[U is for Underwear]
Big 'ol Mormon underwear ;)

[V is for vegetables you love]
Corn (yum), green beans, broccoli, carrots (raw)

[W is for worst habit]
Uh...none of your business

[X is for x-rays you've had]
One when I broke my foot when I was about three...one when I had a sinus infection and they x-rayed my head....one when I thought I broke my finger in college...and then all of the times I've gone to the dentist and they check for cavities. :)

[Y is for yummy food you make]
I've been told my chicken enchiladas are good...I also make good hamburgers, and I'm pretty good at making pies and cookies...

[Z is for zodiac sign]

Pisces...fish, what can I say? Here's what an internet site I saw said: Imaginative and sensitive

Compassionate and kind

Selfless and unworldly

Intuitive and sympathetic
On the dark side....
Escapist and idealistic

Secretive and vague

Weak-willed and easily led

The end. Wasn't that exciting?