Lent or No Sweets for Kiera, Day 13-18

Sigh.  Well birthdays really throw things off don't they.  It's a good thing I'm not actually Catholic or I'd feel really bad about myself rather than mildly disappointed in my lack of restraint.  I believe I had a fruit snack on the 13th day of lent, the day before my birthday (tuesday).  The day of my birthday I had cake.  I sampled the batter and the frosting.  I ate so much dinner (yummy chicken curry from Chopsticks in Denton) that I really didn't want any cake at the end of the evening.  However as I planned to go back on my strict "no sweets" plan the following day I made myself have some and tried to enjoy it.  It did not taste like pink lemonade.  It smelled like pink lemonade which was nice and the batter did seem to have little burst of tartness which was delightful, but the cake was just...cake.  As I was eating it and attempting to savor the flavor I suddenly remembered that I don't really care for cake in general.  I've forgotten this fact the past few years and have eaten cake like there's no tomorrow whenever it presented itself.  I believe this is a common problem I have of disassociating myself from my actual taste preferences and hunger cues.  If it's there I eat it.  If it's easy to grab and sweet I eat double.  Bad habit to have.  So I went to bed that night glad that I had had that moment of self realization.  I thought that this would, of course, mean that I would no longer be tempted by cake in the future.  How wrong I was.

  The next day (first thing in the morning I might add) my cake was sitting there on the counter looking so pretty.  I lifted the clear cover (big mistake there having a transparent bowl as a cake cover.  Must buy opaque version at some point) and smelled it.  After all I had already discovered that this was the most enjoyable part of the cake.  So I'm standing there smelling it and looking at the cake server sitting there all forlorn and thinking about how disappointed I was that the cake didn't taste like pink lemonade.  It SMELLED like pink lemonade so it should taste like it right?  So I pick up the sad lonely spatula and cut off a little corner of cake.  I reasoned that maybe I just didn't get a good taste of it the night before since my taste buds were probably stymied from the curry or something.  Nope.  Still didn't taste like pink lemonade.  Two or three more times during the day I tested the cake until I was utterly convinced that it really did just taste like plain old boring cake.  I gave my kids big pieces of cake at every opportunity to try and get rid of the thing.  Friday I think I did okay...I may have sampled the cake once more, but only a small bite, not a whole piece or anything.  Or maybe I didn't...it's all a blur really. ;)

Anyway, so Saturday our friends Margie and Josh were coming over...and they were bringing the Better Than Sex cake.  It was delicious.   I had a very large slice even though I had already eaten too much pizza at that point.  Then I had another just because I wanted to enjoy it.  I did enjoy it right up until the last five bites or so.  At this point I felt on the verge of puking every time I chewed.  But I was determined to finish it, so I did (Patrick would insert here that this is the stupidest thing in the world to do.  If you're full, stop.  End of story.  If you feel like puking.  Stop.  Why do you feel the need to finish what you don't want?  To which I reply; I'm no quitter!  ;)). Afterwards I felt physically ill at the thought of any more cake.  I thought this was a good thing as I was going back on Lent the next day.  They left us half the cake.  I planned to give it all to my kids.

Sunday after church I promised the kids cake after lunch.  Patrick had to go do something so he ate some cake right off the edge (you know rather than cutting a slice) so he could have some, knowing it would most likely be gone when he got back.  I wanted a bite.  He gave me one.  I suddenly remembered how this particular variety of cake is even better the next day after having been refrigerated overnight (it's the whipped cream on top...).  So after lunch I cut each of the kids the smallest piece of cake I could and tried to cover it up by also offering them a fairly large piece of leftover birthday cake.  They bought it.  I ate the rest of the cake.  (BTW they left half of the leftover cake not half of the entire cake, so it was really more like a quarter of the cake that was left and what I ate wasn't THAT much as it had already been divided four ways before I got my part)  So...not good, but not too bad right?  Then we had company over for dinner.  She made...a chocolate walnut cake.  I didn't want to be rude so I ate the rather large slice she gave me...and some of the leftover from my kids plates. (It was REALLY good, and I'm not generally a fan of chocolate cake)  Then while they were out looking at our chickens I had another small slice about half the size of the one I originally ate.  Then she said we could keep the three child sized remaining slices.  I transferred them to a plate and ate one in celebration.  That evening as Patrick and I sat down to watch a show (BBC's Sherlock.  It is brilliant btw, you should totally check it out.  Second season is much better than the first.  A season (or 'series' as they call them) is only three episodes long which is kind of a bummer, but each ep is 90 minutes so that's nice...this one was the Hound of the Baskervilles so it was ruined since I knew that story and guessed...but I digress), I told him he should eat the cake so I wouldn't.    He said, both pieces?  and I said yes.  So I brought him the cake and then thought; but hey, why should he get cake while I just sit here?  I ate one.  he ate the other.  So just today I had the remaining Better Than Sex cake, one adult sized slice of Chocolate walnut cake, and three child sized pieces.  You can see I have some control issues when it comes to food.

But...tomorrow is another day and the start of a new week so I am back on the lent gravy train and hopefully I will lose another 5 lbs before this is over...of course I could always just cut out sugar all week permanently.  But no, that's crazy talk. ;)

I felt a bit like Marie Antoinette this week..."let them eat cake" indeed.