So the drama all started at my 40 wk check up on Tuesday. My midwife again asked if I would like to have an ultrasound to check the baby’s size. I agreed since she said they could do it right then and I wouldn’t have to come back. I expressed my skepticism at the technician being able to accurately predict the size of the baby since when I was at the hospital to have Henry they checked him and the guy said my dates must be wrong as he was only measuring at about 38 wks. He then came out just over ten pounds. The midwife and technician lady assured me that they are much better at this then whoever that guy was and that Eddie, the technician, is usually accurate to within half a pound. So I went to get the ultrasound. Almost immediately Eddie asks if I am trying to set some kind of record…the head is measuring off the charts…she can’t even get the whole abdomen on the screen, etc… So she finally says that the baby is definitely over ten pounds and she’s thinking more like 11 lbs +/- 9 oz. So I go back to the midwife and everyone starts freaking out. The midwife calls in the other midwife to consult. She then has to check my cervix and measure me herself to give an opinion. They tell me about all of the horrible things that can happen to me and the baby since he is measuring so big. Shoulder dystocia (getting caught on my pubic bone possibly resulting in nerve damage and paralysis), getting stuck in the birth canal and dying, my uterus hemorrhaging from the uterine distension caused by carrying such a big baby, etc. They then tell me that I can get a cesarean at this point if I want. I politely decline. The 2nd mw says that at this point she almost wishes they didn’t know how big it was since now they are medically obligated to tell me all of these things. They ask how much longer I’m going to grow this thing as it is already so big. I know they want me to bring up being induced, but I don’t want to. I say that I would like to wait until at least after Thursday (my actual due date) to give him a chance to come on his own. They immediately agree and ask if I could come in Thursday night to be induced so that they can both be there Friday when I have the baby. This would be convenient for them as the 2nd midwife is going on vacation Saturday. I ask why she has to be there as she’s not my midwife and they explain that in these situations it’s better to have two of them there in case something happens. So I agree.
I am annoyed at this point because I’m pretty sure that the baby will come out just fine and not get stuck or anything and I think they’re freaking out for no good reason as it’s all based on assuming the ultrasound is accurate. But I make plans for the sitter to come Thursday night and in the mean time do all I can to try and induce labor on my own. In retrospect I think I was having contractions off and on for the next three days and the baby would have come on his own by that weekend…which I would have preferred as I was kind of hoping for a 20th or 23rd birthday so he would match the other kids. Anyway, Thursday rolls around and I am making preparations for the sitter to come (ie; I had just changed the sheets on our bed) when the nurse from the clinic calls and asks if it would be okay for me to come in Friday morning at 6am instead as there were some scheduling conflicts at the hospital. I am more annoyed at this since I had just changed the sheets (and because that would mean getting up at like 4:30 to drive into Denton), but I agree. I was also a little concerned as I was having some spotting that day, which had never happened before. The nurse assured me it was normal and not to worry. So I call the sitter and Patrick and rearrange everything. This was at about 9:30am. Around noon the midwife herself calls me. She wanted to let me know that the OB that oversees them (I think) was VERY concerned about me trying to deliver this baby vaginally and wanted to make sure that I knew she STRONGLY recommended that I have a cesarean. She then again went over all of the bad stuff that could happen and asked what I wanted to do. I expressed again that I would at least like to TRY to have the baby myself before resorting to such measures. She agreed and then said that they really felt I needed to have the baby sooner rather than later and that she had talked to the hospital and they had managed to rearrange things so that I could go in that night again. So we were back on for the night. This was again annoying as I had just rearranged everything and Patrick and I were talking about maybe going to a movie and out to eat in Denton and then staying in a hotel overnight so we wouldn’t have to get up so early to drive in the next morning. So those plans were out the window….which actually I was fine with since I was having contractions and the whole spotting thing so I really didn’t want to be in labor in a hotel somewhere. I looked up an article about shoulder dystocia and big babies and it convinced me yet again that the doctor was over reacting and that the baby would probably be fine, but whatever.
So that night the sitter comes and we head in. We were late, but I don’t think it matters. The nurse then took FOREVER to get me started. It turns out they wanted to insert something called Cervidil (?) to ripen my cervix overnight and then get me started on pitocin around 6am the next morning. I had to be hooked up to an iv and on the monitor the whole time. This annoyed me as I had specifically discussed this with my midwife and she had assured me that I didn’t need to do this since I was planning on natural childbirth. So I ended up arguing with the nurses about it and they went and woke up the other midwife who was on call to ask her about it. She agreed to delay the pitocin until after my mw had come and had a chance to discuss it with me. I have never been in labor at the hospital w/o pitocin and I really wanted to try it this time. The nurse also agreed to fudge the charts a little if I really wanted to get up and walk for twenty minutes or so every hour. This was nice, though aside from using the restroom once an hour I didn’t really feel like doing this as it was nighttime and I was sleeping…mostly. By 5:30/6 I was having contractions for real. By the time my mw came she said I was in labor on my own and didn’t need the pitocin. The cervidil and fallen out at some point too so I wasn’t really on any labor inducing meds. Shortly thereafter the ob came in to talk to me. She AGAIN explained all of the risks I was taking in trying to do this vaginally and how it could be dangerous for me and the baby and did I understand this? Yes, I did. She then asked what I had against having a c-section. Seriously? Why would I NOT want to have unnecessary surgery that would then influence my doctors decisions about my birthing capabilities for the rest of my pregnancies? I said something about the recovery time and having three other kids at home to look after and how it would mean I’d have to have cesareans from then on. She made some noise about how no I wouldn’t, but I know the policy at Denton Regional is once a cesarean always a cesarean so I politely (or as politely as can be done since we were having this conversation in between contractions) declined. She then seemed to wash her hands of the situation and left.
So I labored “for reals” ;) from about 5:30/6 until around 10 am. My mw broke my water around 8 I think so then I had to sit on a towel wherever I was so as not to leak. The mw’s were both very nice and helped me with different positions, pressure points, warm towels etc. I tried sitting in the rocking chair, which was nice, but the whole moving my hips/bellydancing thing I was going to try did not work. If I tried moving my hips during a contraction it seemed to make it much worse, so I stopped. Soon my muscles all felt really weak and shaky and I didn’t trust myself to stand/pace/lean like we had discussed as I felt I really needed the support of the bed or chair or I would fall over. So it wasn’t too bad until I started puking on the downside of every other contraction. That really, really sucked. I also think the doctor completely freaked me out with her discussion of how if the baby did get stuck she would have to stick her entire hand up my stuff and try to dislodge him manually. So I was thinking about how the contractions really, really, really hurt and how much more it was going to hurt when I had to push such a HUGE baby out and then they had to stick their hands up there to turn it. I think this psyched me out as much as if not more than the reality of how painful labor is. So around 10am I gave in and asked for an epidural. I had been mentioning it off and on all morning, since I knew the last two times the anesthesiologist had taken an hour and a half to get to the room and I was concerned he wouldn’t get there in time if I waited too long. The midwives kept telling me I was doing a good job and I had good instincts and all this…I think they were a little disappointed in me for getting an epidural but at that point I really didn’t care. I decided that my reasons for trying natural childbirth were apparently not strong enough in the moment as I had by this point convinced myself that going natural just for curiosities sake was dumb. So they nurse turned up my I.V. (apparently they need to pump you full of fluid before an epidural?) and sent in the order. We had to wait until I had enough fluid…the waiting sucked. I kept telling Patrick that “they better hurry.” I don’t know if I was concerned with the baby coming out before he got there or if it was just the knowledge that relief was coming that made the intervening contractions so much worse. So he finally got there around 10:20. They sent Patrick out, even though he specifically asked if he could stay this time, and the guy got to work. I think it started kicking in around 10:45. I still felt a lot of pressure with each contraction, but I was able to start to relax my overtaxed and shaking muscles. Patrick put on my nice music I had brought and I think I slept for a little while. The second midwife came and checked me sometime during the 11th hour and I think I was at a 7. She said the other midwife (mine) would be back at lunch as she didn’t want to miss this. Around noon I began to be concerned as the pressure with the contractions was mounting and I couldn’t really ignore it anymore. I kept asking Patrick to watch the contractions on the paper to see if they were getting bigger and closer together as that’s what it felt like. He said they looked bigger, but were still about 2.5 minutes apart. I finally called the nurse to come check me as I was beginning to worry that the baby would plop out on his own and everyone would miss it. Patrick and I thought this might be hilarious as they were all so worried. So the nurse checks me and says I’m at an 8 and calls the mw. The 2nd mw comes and checks and says that my cervix is like butter and that it was at a 8/9 when she was done. She then goes to call the other mw…I think. So they finally come in around one and start setting up. The 2 mw’s and a 3rd mw in training are there to hold my legs/catch. Patrick didn’t have to do that this time, although I think he did end up doing it anyway when one got distracted. The mw checks me and the other says she should probably suit up or whatever…she then tells me to try and breathe down during my next contraction. I do…but then it sounded like she meant push when she said breathe so after a few more breaths I asked if she meant I should push or breathe down? She said both. I was embarrassed then as I hadn’t been really pushing at all. So I gave a few pushes, which wasn’t fun. The 2nd mw asked if they should call in the ob, and the first said….hmmm, let’s wait. Which was good as the OB was a little too freaked out I think. So I pushed through like 4-5 contractions and then plop! Out comes the baby. This surprised me as I usually push way longer than that and from the mw’s attitude I wasn’t even really aware that we were “really” trying to push it out just yet. Usually the doctor has me do some pushes and such almost as if to warm up to the “real” pushing. So the baby comes out…Patrick said its cord was around its neck, but loosely and she just pulled it off. I told the nurse I didn’t want him on my stomach and Patrick said she then gave me either an annoyed or confused look. So I guess she was holding him or something and they asked Patrick if he wanted to cut the cord. I was a little annoyed at this point because the nurse was purposefully holding up the blanket so I couldn’t see. I didn’t say I didn’t want to SEE the baby, I just didn’t want to touch it when it was yucky. So I missed all of that. They took him over to be weighed and he was only 9 lbs, 12.6 oz. Stupidheads. I had read a study that the sonographer is only accurate to within 1.1 lbs 48% of the time that late in pregnancy. So all of that fuss and rushing me to the hospital and all was because they all overreacted to an inaccurate ultrasound. So I now know to never ever get an ultrasound that late in pregnancy as they will all overreact. Bah. Anyway. So the baby came out and a few minutes later the placenta came out too. I had asked the midwife if I could see the placenta and she said yes. So she showed me all the parts and it was pretty cool. Probably funny to the nurses that I didn’t want to touch the baby but I wanted to see the placenta. So I had a small 1-2 degree tear in the back and a 1 degree to the front which was much less then I had torn for my other kids. The 2nd midwife measured the babies head/torso (or saw the measurements anyway) and told me that I could probably safely deliver a baby a pound larger without any problems. I was like, “oh really? See? I told you they just come out.” I had told them how Henry just came out and they all seemed skeptical that I didn’t have any trouble pushing out a ten pounder. They now believed me.
So Patrick stayed with me at the hospital for the whole day, which has never happened before. It was nice. He stayed the night and we watched Ghostbusters on the laptop…or parts of it anyway, I think I kept falling asleep. The next day our pediatrician randomly showed up and said she had come for another one of her patients to do the circumcision and saw our name there so she came to see if we wanted our son done as well. I thought that was nice as I was worried about calling her or having to do it at the office later that week. So we were supposed to go home that afternoon, and the sitter was bringing the kids to drop off and see the baby and then we were going to take them home. So before this can happen they tell us that the baby has a heart murmur and elevated bilirubin so we may have to stay another night depending on what the echo they’re ordering for his heart says. So I’m worried about that and we agree that Patrick will take the kids home and I’ll stay if we need to. Then they come say he’s fine and it’s an innocent murmur with a normal hole that is in the process of closing and that’s why it was so loud (I think how if they hadn’t made me come in early it probably wouldn’t have been there). The nurse then says she can rush the jaundice test thing and we can leave by 6:30 if we want. So when the kids arrive that is the plan…right up until Patrick leaves me alone with all of them in that small room to go get the carseat. He was only gone fifteen minutes but it was enough to completely stress me out. So after they left to go eat I started thinking how I really wanted to stay another night. I asked the nurse if it would be okay and she said they could just cancel the orders and have me go home the next day. So when Patrick comes back I ask if it’s okay if I stay and he agrees. I had a nice peaceful evening, and the nurse brought me some snacks around 10 when I got hungry (they serve dinner at 5:30, you would be hungry too). The next day Patrick came with the kids and we ended up having to wait around for everyone to come check us out. Luckily the hospital had wifi and we could put on a Netflix show for the kids. I guess the hospital had like three babies born all at once (11 total that weekend) which was insane for them. This was the first time I had ever seen more than one baby in the nursery, I guess Denton is having a baby boom. My pediatrician blames those cold weeks of winter we had this year…that doesn’t line up for our conception, but it’s an idea.
So now I’m home. Patrick surprised me by taking Monday off of work. I had to take the baby to the doctor so that was nice. When I got home I was exhausted and he further surprised me by taking Tuesday off as well. He’s really nice. Wednesday my visiting teacher took the kids to the McDonalds in Sherman for like 5 hours, yesterday my other vt came and watched them for a couple of hours so I could sleep and today she took them all to her house for the day. So I haven’t really had to watch my kids all week. It’s been nice, though it’s getting kind of weird now…so I guess it will be good to be able to get back to a routine. It always seems kind of anticlimactic to me to bring the baby home. It’s like you’re building up and planning for the birth for nearly a year, and then it’s only a couple of nights at the hospital and it’s over. I always feel lost afterwards like what am I supposed to do now? Take care of the kids, Patrick says. That’s depressing to think that’s all I’m going to be doing forever. But I’m feeling better today and starting to look forward to the art history class I’m going to take this fall in pursuit of my second bachelor’s in art history. I was supposed to start working on my second masters in Library Science as well, but they have a two day long 8 +hours a day orientation I’m supposed to go to for that. I can’t leave the baby that long yet so I’ve put that off until spring semester. Anyway, here’s the baby:
W H Thaden
Born 7/22/11, 1:14pm, 9 lbs, 13 oz, 19 ½ inches (which is short for our babies).
His hair, eyebrows and lashes seem to be lighter then the other kids and I think his eyes still look blue (though I must admit they seem to be getting darker and will probably end up brown like everyone else)...so maybe he'll look a little different. He has a sloping forehead and no neck so he looks kind of like a garden gnome, but he's pretty cute. ;) He can already hold his head up and look around just like our other big babies.
