Giving up Chocolate: Day Eight

Just when you think you're in the clear,  BOOM, chocolate circles around and ambushes you from behind.  I was doing so good today.  I was experimenting with a technique described in this book I'm reading "Health at Every Size" by Dr. Janet Bacon.  In it you eat what you want, when you're hungry, and then stop once you're full.  Crazy right?  Anyway I was still avoiding chocolate and doing pretty well.  I have been consistently back down to my pre-August weight for two days now and had just started to consider those extra three pounds a bad dream when it happened;  I came home from the gym starving.  I told Patrick that I was going to make these delicious oatmeal, chocolate chip, pecan, craisin, vegan cookies we'd had before, only without the chocolate chips.  Well as soon as I finished my dinner I knew that was a bad idea as, per my books instructions, I was listening to my body and it was saying that it was full.  Maybe even a little over full.  But a promise is a promise (and an excuse is an excuse) and I started making the cookies anyway.  I reasoned that I wasn't going to put chocolate chips in and I was only going to have one anyway, so it would be okay.  *sigh*  What an optimistic fool I was.  Before I had even finished adding all of the ingredients I was eating the cookie dough out of the bowl (no eggs so it was okay...not that I've let that stop me in the past, but you know).  I had added all of the other ingredients and was remembering how incredibly delicious these cookies were last time we had them...when they had chocolate chips in them.  I'm sure they would have been fine without them, but I impulsively grabbed the bag from the cupboard and dumped some in....and ate some more dough, this time with chocolate chips.

As I started spooning them onto the pan I argued with myself over whether or not I should cook the whole batch or save the dough in the fridge for later.  I thought that if I cooked them all then I would may eat too many, but I also knew from past experience that if I only cooked a dozen there was a good chance that Patrick and I would completely finish off the pan.  I decided to chance it.  I cooked 14 cookies (I managed to squeeze an extra two onto the pan) and saved the rest of the dough in the fridge (where I'm sure it will haunt me tomorrow).  Once out of the oven (and now full of dinner and cookie dough) I once again told myself that I would only be eating one.  The problem with this being that even after I carefully selected the "best" one for me to consume and then ate it slowly (or so it seemed to me) Patrick had yet to take even one bite from his first.  So then when he finally did get around to his cookie I wanted another so that I would be eating one with him.  And so it continued.  It probably didn't help that I brought the cooling rack of cookies over to the computer desk for easier access while we watched Torchwood.   We finished them off.  Henry had two, Patrick had 6.5, and I had 5.5 (well honestly I think I'm the one that had 6.5, but we've decided it was him as neither one of us is completely sure).  So that added to the hearty meatloaf as well as the four pieces of, albeit homemade, pizza I had today brought my calorie count up to a whopping 3020.  To keep this in perspective I aim to keep it under 1500 every day.  So that sucked.  So much for listening to my bodies cues...and now I have the rest of the cookie dough lurking in the fridge for me to find tomorrow.  Maybe I can convince the kids to eat it all...