Giving up Chocolate: Day Four

Maybe I should just retitle this my "Chronicle of Chocolate Consumption" as I don't seem to be making any inroads into the whole "giving up" aspect.   So today, I made brownies for the neighbors.  Again.  This time I vowed to take them over the second I saw her SUV drive up.  Of course as I was mixing the batter I had to have a little taste.  Just a little.  Then I poured it into the pan...and had another taste, and another...let's just say I hope the oven killed off any germs I left in there 'cuz I had a lot of "tastes."  Once the brownies came out of the oven I put them on top of the stove to cool.  I ignored them for some time as they did this.  I watched a show on the computer, got the songs ready for primary, put James down for a nap, put Henry down...I didn't even cut the brownies because I knew that as soon as I did this I would want to snitch, so I didn't walk near them until they were completely cooled off like two hours later. 
   
I sat at the computer doing some waste of time thing or another, purposefully not thinking about the brownies.  I thought I was doing pretty well right up until I got out of my chair, marched over there and cut a row, eating one and sitting back down without thinking twice about it.  See apparently I had been thinking about it subconsciously and had decided that one wouldn't hurt without telling my conscious brain...my id and superego were not communicating I guess.  Anyway, I only ate one.  I was so proud of myself.  Then I went and picked up Isabelle from school and when she got home she wanted a snack.  Being the generous mother that I am I offered a brownie.  No sooner had I given her a brownie then my sneaky hand snatched up another and shoved it in my mouth before I could protest.  I felt like Ash from the Evil Dead movies where his hand is possessed and bashing him over the head with plates.  Anyway, so, while my mouth was busy chewing I quickly got out a plate, cut up the rest of the brownies and started stacking them on there as quick as I could before my hand got any ideas.  Unfortunately I wasn't going fast enough as my hand managed to shove another two into my mouth before I could get the plate covered in saran wrap.  But once that was done and all of the stray bits were taken care of (ie I ate those too) I was able to sit and be still.  I even managed to turn down an offer of yet another brownie this evening when I went to our neighbors to drop them off.  See I can say no! ;)  

You see I think this sort of undertaking requires a certain amount of willpower exercised while in just the right state of mind.  If either of these are out of whack it's not going to be a good day.  The problem today, for example was, I believe, the Nazi Applie Pie I had for breakfast....followed by the half slice I had at lunch, and the other half slice I had for a mid afternoon snack.  I mean once you start your day with a 377 calorie piece of pie you've got to wonder why you should even bother trying to eat healthy the rest of the day.  I tend to be of the attitude that if I've already screwed up that bad before lunch I'd rather just toss the whole day out the window and start again tomorrow.  This is one of my biggest problems when it comes to weight loss as I hate cooking first thing in the morning and so tend to grab something that's quick and easy, like leftover dessert from the night before.   Although I guess this way, at least today, I could claim that Nazi's sabotaged my diet and how many people can say that?  Darn Nazi's!!!

PS: I found the card reader.  Pics of the Nazi Pie have been posted in yesterday's entry. ;)